Marriage is a beautiful representation of unconditional love. It’s years and years of effortless romance and passion. Marriage is about finding the person that will truly make you happy. It’s about finding that one person that will fulfill all your needs – wait. Hold up. This doesn’t seem real. Oh, sorry. I was reading the trailer of a romantic comedy. Ha, sorry girl. My bad.
Romance and passion aren’t dead once marriage happens. If you ask me, sex and marriage are both like wine, they get better with age. However, I feel that we forget that marriage is hard. I mean hard. I mean it can be really, really hard. From finances, sex, in-laws, careers, children, tragedy, illness, infidelity, addictions, miscommunication, how-to-put-the-toilet-paper-roll-on-correctly, sexual perversion, the list goes on and on. More than likely you have struggled with at least one of these in your marriage. If not, hit me up so I can drink from the magic potion you have hidden.
I have only been married for 5 years, but in those 5 years I have grown in Christ, as a woman, and as a individual. Marriage teaches you a lot of things. With humility, you grow, learn, and become more like Christ. However, these moments can be difficult and cause suffering. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” It’s our trials and sufferings that make us desperate for God. However, we have a God who restores. He makes us strong and firm. He grows us, matures us, and makes us more and more like Him so HE can be glorified.
Our marriages represent Christ’s love for humanity. Let that sink in, sister. Your marriage is important and God is 100% for you and your husband.
If you haven’t already, you will hit a rough patch in your marriage. You’ll get off sync and not know how to get things back on track. It’s okay, breathe sweet friend. It happens to all of us. Every marriage has trials and hardships. Below are several books that have encouraged and strengthened my marriage.
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The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code by Emerson Eggerichs
Topic: Communication
Summary: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has written many books. One of his most popular is Love and Respect which discusses that women need love and men need respect. In The Language of Love and Respect, he gives detailed examples and approaches to speak respect and love to one another. He also gives a quick review of Love and Respect so you can jump right in without feeling lost. Emerson explains that spouses send each other messages in code and they must learn to crack that code. By understanding the messages, one can begin to decode their spouse and provide them the love or respect she or he needs.
Review: This is great tool that teaches communication and differences in the male and female language. It’s amazing how differently males and females communicate, feel, and act. As I was reading this book, I was in awe at how many of the conversations he refers to have actually taken place in my living room! He goes into much detail on how to speak to our husbands. He is practical and funny! This is a great book that goes into detail on how to communicate respectfully to our husbands and how husbands should communicate lovingly to us. This book is 368 pages long. It takes a few weeks to finish, but there are some chapters you can skip that are for husbands. You can read if you’d like, but I usually skipped those.
If you are interested in purchasing this book, you can purchase from Amazon on the link provided below.
The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel by Raymond C. Ortlund Jr.
Topic: Defines marriage and how it fulfills God’s redemptive purpose for the world
Summary: Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel teaches the biblical definition and importance of marriage. This book provides a biblical view from Genesis to Revelation of marriage. It opens the eyes of the reader to the big picture view of marriage and how it is centered around the gospel. This book is Bible and theologically rich.
Review: I really enjoyed reading this book. It reminded me of the eternal value of my marriage. It walked through the origin of marriage and walked through the Bible’s specific stories describing the importance of marriage. It is a quick read and only 128 pages. This book is so gospel-rich and I learned so much! I highly recommend for any wifey wanting to be reminded of why we people do marriage.
The book is linked below if you’re interested in purchasing.
Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel
5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Topic: Communication and identifying love languages
Summary: 5 Love Languages is a popular book that identifies one’s love language. A love language is a way that someone receives love. Either words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning you and your spouse’s love language, you both are able to show each other love and affection properly. A lot times one spouse may be communicating love in one language, say words of affirmation, but their spouse’s language is quality time. One spouse feels confused because they unsure whey their spouse doesn’t feel loved, and the other spouse is feeling unloved or neglected. This book has a test that will identify your love language and will also teach you about each language. This book is 209 pages long.
Review: 5 Love Languages is a great book to read for any married couple. When my husband and I first started dating we took the test and our languages have changed since then. It’s nice to know and understand how to love my husband. A lot of times I will speaking to him in one language and he still feels neglected or unloved. Fortunately, we have the same love language in this season of life. This book was great though in helping my husband give me words of affirmation. If you are looking for a quick read, don’t let the 209 pages scare you. You can just read the first few chapters and you and your husband’s love language chapters.
Here is the link to the book 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler
Topic: Dating, engagement, and marriage; the ideal relationship
Summary: In The Mingling of Souls, Pastor Matt Chandler teaches through the book of Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs). This is a book about a couple when they meet until marriage. He teaches on sex and marriage. He walks through what dating, engagement, and marriage is supposed to look, the way God has designed it. This book is 224 pages long.
Review: I read The Mingling of Souls in one day (let me mention I was also 8 months pregnant). This book was so good for my soul. I really enjoyed the biblical teaching on sex. Today, sex has been abused. Chandler uses Song of Solomon to teach the way God designed sex. It’s beautiful, holy (yea, I said holy, did you know God is for sex?), and God was the one that created it. It is also a great book for what dating relationships are supposed to look like. I highly recommend this book for any age, even and especially singles. If I read this book before marriage my sex life would have be so different our first few years of marrage!
If you are interested in purchasing Chandler’s book there is a link below. I also want to recommend a sermon series he preaches on called A Beautiful Design. You can download The Village App (the church he preaches at) or click the YouTube link below!
God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption The Mingling of Souls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z179Ml3tPZs&list=PLWb8CE6tMpU0RKpQrLMf7dR9Kl6bTFmeX
Swipe Right: The Life-and-Death Power of Sex and Romance
Topic: Culture and sex
Summary: In Swipe Right, Levi Lusko relates to millennials in a refreshing way. If you have been living under a rock, there are apps that have a person swipe right if you are interested in someone or swipe left if not. These apps are mostly used for casual sex. In his book, he talks about the way God has designed sex and how culture views sex. Swipe Right also discusses how we should parent in this sex-dominated culture. This book is mainly preparing singles for marriage and encouraging sexual purity. It is funny and engaging. It is 256 pages long.
Review: PLEASE READ THIS BOOK! I don’t care if you are married, single, divorced, or a unic. Please read this. This book opened my eyes to so many things. Your mom should read this, your teenager should read this, you should read this, everyone should read this. This book discusses the clear problem of sexual sin in our society, while also pointing back to the gospel! I read this last summer in one sitting. It is entertaining and engaging and I could not put it down. Please get this book. It will change the way you view sex. This book is geared towards single people, but it was so refreshing for me. We are living in a sexually confused culture and don’t realize how much we are impacted by it all. Please read this!
Click below and buy it now! I’m not kidding.
Swipe Right: The Life-and-Death Power of Sex and Romance
Conclusion
These books will encourage, teach, and strengthen you and your marriage. Even though our divorce rate is getting smaller, it’s only because less people are getting married. I have witnessed firsthand broken marriages restored and made new with counsel, humility, and the work of the Holy Spirit.
As a Christ follower, we have been called to share the gospel. One way of doing this is through our marriages. The enemy wants us to be defeated. He wants us to be selfish in our marriages. This is not what Christ has called us to. He wants us to speak, love, and treat our husbands with grace and selflessness. Check out my post below for more information on a big lie that the enemy uses. https://lionheartedliving.net/how-do-i-know-i-married-my-soul-mate/
You may be asking, “Well what’s in it for me?” An eternal reward friend. One that is not temporary or can be stolen based on life’s circumstances. Jesus knows we won’t do this perfectly. He’s not asking for perfection, He’s asking for obedience.
You are so loved friend and Jesus is 100% for you.
Hugs & kisses,
