It’s 10:30 in the morning. Your toddler is crying because he wants ketchup on his pancakes. He is hysterical and won’t be consoled. He gets the plate and throws it on the floor smearing syrup all over the kitchen floor. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Toddlers are little people who are growing and changing so fast they just lose their minds from time to time. .
A toddler is a destructive, emotionally unstable little person. Though it’s our mom instinct that keeps us going, sometimes life for a toddler mom can be..well rough. Can you relate sister? Take a breath, turn on Paw Patrol, and remind yourselves of these few reminders.
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This is only a season
Despite how long the days feel, this is a short season of your life. One day you will look back and wish you had a toddler to feed or cuddle. You’ve heard so many people say it, time sure does fly.
Momma, leave the kitchen a mess. Don’t stress about that applesauce that’s on the wall or the dried strawberries on the floor. Live in the moment with your family. You’ll have the rest of your life to have a perfect house. Let your kids live in it while they live there (I need this to resonate in my soul).
Your toddler’s emotions are real
This is not to guilt-trip you or mom shame. Remind yourself of this when your toddler is upset about something so tiny. He or she feels very strongly and even though it may not seem important and might be a little silly, don’t dismiss their feelings.
In the book The Whole Brain Child, you learn that toddlers are still learning to process emotions and their “upstairs” brain is still under construction. This is the part of the brain that uses higher level thinking. It’s in these moments where our child needs us to empathize first before we redirect or discipline. Yea, this is hard for us, but when we understand what is going on in our child’s brains, it helps us be more gracious and patient with them. . Use words like:
- “I see your sad, that makes me sad too!”
- “You feel mad right now. It’s okay to be mad.”
- “I’m sorry you are sad. Want me to hold you?”
- “I understand you are mad.”
The Whole Brain Child is a great book with dives much deeper and discusses child brain development. I have linked it below.
Your toddler needs you
You obviously know this little detail. You’re like a 24/7 servant, maid, nurse, teacher, etc. When your toddler is acting a little cray cray or super needy, he or she might just want some TLC from Momma. In these moments, give your little one a hug or hold them to let them know you see and hear them. This will make a huge difference in their attitude and yours.
You also want to make sure you are having quality time with your child each day. This is actually harder for me since I am now a SAHM. When I worked, I made sure we had quality time. Now, our time is just always together. However, it’s important to set time aside each day to have one-on-one interaction with your toddler. You will see a tremendous difference in your bond and in your child’s behavior.
It’s not too late to say sorry
The question isn’t if you are going to yell or lose your cool, it’s when. You ain’t Jesus girl! After these not so pretty moments, apologize and own up on your behavior. We cannot expect our children to not throw a fit or yell when we ourselves are throwing adult fits (hey, I’m guilty here too) and yelling.
Saying sorry to your child is important because he or she is watching and learning from you. You are not only teaching repentance and grace with your words, but are modeling it with your actions. Your child will see this and learn to do the same.
Let go of other people’s perspectives
We have all heard the story of the child screaming and throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, someone making a rude comment, and the mom feeling inadequate and embarrassed. Sometimes, the right parenting decision is not approved by everyone. Let them judge! You know what’s best for your kid and YOU are their advocate.
As moms, we can’t let other people’s judgement of our parenting influence our parenting. We seek and listen to wise counsel, but at the end of the day, we are the ones that know our child. Often at times I’ve scolded my son in front of family or strangers simply because he was not meeting their expectations.
I’m not saying let your kid walk all over you but when your toddler is screaming in Whole Foods and your handling it like a rock star but people are still muggin, let them mug. Their opinion of your parenting is none of your business anyway (Rachel Hollis says this in her book, Girl, Wash Your Face).
Momma, you got this!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once again, mommin’ ain’t for the weak. Seriously, we are pretty awesome to create, birth, and nurture life. You can do this! You have be created and designed for this. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. We have so much grace in learning and growing for and with our children. You got this girl!
XOXO,
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